DON’T PANIC.

The Streaming Consciousness of the Whale
Another thing that nobody made too much fuss about was that, against all probability, a sperm whale had suddenly been called into existence some miles above the surface of an alien planet. And since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity as a whale before it had to come to terms with suddenly not being a whale any more.

"Ah! What's happening? Er, excuse me? Who am I? Why am I here? What's my purpose in life? What do I mean by, 'Who am I'? Calm down! Get a grip now! Oh, this is an interesting sensation. It's a sort of yawning, tingling sensation in my ... my ... Well, I better start finding names for things, so let's call it my stomach. So, a yawning, tingling sensation in my stomach. And that whistling, roaring sound? That can be wind. Perhaps I can find a better name for it later. Hey, what's this thing? Let's call it a tail! Yeah, tail. Hey, I can really thrash it about pretty good, can't I? Wow! Wow! Hey! Doesn't seem to achieve much, but I'll probably figure out what it's for later on. Oh, hey, this is really exciting! So much to find out about, so much to look forward to. I'm dizzy with anticipation. What's this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast? Very, very fast ... so big and flat and wide, it needs a big, wide-sounding word, like round ... round ... ground! That's it -- ground! I wonder if it will be friends with me?"

Curiously, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was,

"Oh no, not again."

(to see this scene in action, check it out on YouTube!)

For Towel Day, the commemoration of Douglas Adams’ authorship of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Barrister and Mann presents our tribute to his brilliant work: 42, a fragrance that smells of petunias, ambergris, tea, and Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster (lemon sugar). Grab a copy of the Guide, a cup of tea, and your shaving brush; it’s going to be a hell of a ride.

Net wt. 3.75 oz, Made in the USA

The Balm

Our upgraded and improved alcohol-free aftershave balm is a glorious treat for the skin. Enriched with super-moisturizing kokum and cupaçu butters, hydrolyzed oat protein, and nourishing daikon seed oil, this soothing, moisturizing emulsion will calm irritation and redness and leave your skin feeling moisturized for hours on end.

Ingredients

Aqua, Capric/Caprylic Triglyceride, Squalane (Olive), Polyacrylamidomethylpropane Sulfonic Acid, Aveena sativa (Oat) Kernel Protein, Simmondsia Chinensis (Jojoba) Oil, Fragrance, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Extract (and) Maltodextrin, Polysorbate 80, Saccharide Isomerate, Raphanus Sativus (Radish) Seed Extract, Garcinia indica (Kokum) Butter, Sodium Stearoyl Glutamate, Theobroma grandiflorum (Cupuacu) Butter, Allantoin, Phenoxyethanol (and) Caprylyl Glycol (and) Sorbic Acid, Propanediol, Water, Enteromorpha Compressa Extract, Silybum Marianum Fruit Extract, Ocinum Sanctum Leaf Extract, Citrus Limon (Lemon) Oil, Fragrance, Salvia Sclarea (Clary Sage) Oil, Cistus Ladanifer (Labdanum) Absolute, Lavandula Angustifolia (Lavender) Oil, Pogostemon Cablin (Patchouli) Oil